Friday, April 25, 2008

Goodbye, Ebay!

I am no longer a registered eBay user.

Actually, I've got to wait 180 days before the account is officially closed, but at least during that time those little fuckers who keep breaking in to my account can't use it to buy and sell shit that causes me a bunch of headaches.

Sorry about breaking into vulgarity there, but I feel its appropriate. I'm a savvy Internet user. I don't respond to an e-mails from sites I'm a member of. I also go to the site by typing the URL in myself (I never click the link in the e-mail) to double check that what the e-mail is telling me is true. I've never given out my username or password over e-mail or to anyone claiming to be personnel of the site. You'd think my vigilance would be rewarded with a safe eBay account, but no, it doesn't. In the past six months my account has been broken into twice. Both times eBay caught the fraud before I did and had corrected the problems without my needing to do anything, but this is both annoying and a little scary. I don't use eBay very often anyway. It's not like I'll miss having an account there. I just don't like the idea that someone like me, who is very careful with this stuff, could have two account break-ins that close together. I shouldn't have any account break-ins at all.

What's worse is that they used my account to send messages to a bunch of other eBay users to advertise some Chinese laptop store so I keep getting rude messages in return (and one idiot asking about pricing).

If you're reading this and you hacked my eBay account, I'd like you to know that it currently is unable to bid or sell and will be dead in 180 days. I also hope you get raped by a rabid deer that somehow broke free of the zoo travelling through your neighborhood. I also hope you prove to be the first case of deer-to-human transmission of an STD and it proves to be an exceptionally virulent strain. I don't want you to die. I just want you live with the embarrassment that you caught syphilis from a deer. Asswipe.


JustinS said...

My wife is like 1/32 gypsy. She might not be able to swing the whole deer-rape thing, but if you hook us up with one of those Chinese laptops, she might be able to give him an ass boil or something.

Meaghan said...

Yikes! Sorry this happened. Damn hackers! The last part made me laugh, though!

Julie said...

I, too, find your rage amusing. And now I'm tempted to log into my ebay account just to make sure I don't have a second life that I wasn't aware of.

Mickey said...

Yeah, now I'm wondering if the account I created for that one time that I bid on something is getting hacked and misappropriated.

Chris said...

I'm constantly getting e-mails about stuff I've bought or sold on eBay and how I'm overdue to pay, etc. Only thing is: I've never bought or sold anything on eBay.

And, please, limit your ill wishes to the individuals responsible. Let's not unleash deer STDs on the human race just to punish one or two hackers.