Technically, at least according to the veterinarian's records, K and I have two dogs, a mixed breed with a spotted tongue named Bubba and a Llewellyn setter named Bosco. I say technically because they don't love us enough to stick around. There was a time when they both had to stay close to us. We installed a fence in the back yard when we moved in a couple of years ago for the express purpose of keeping dogs close to home and safe. When they started digging and climbing out, we ran an electric fence around the bottom. I think Bubba touched it once and learned his lesson. The same went for Bosco. In fact, most of the time it was turned off and we only turned it on occassionally when we noticed them starting to get too close to the fence again.
Then the electric fence died. Bubba stayed around for a month or so after that before realizing there was no longer juice coursing through the wire and he made his escape. Bosco, who was still a younger puppy at the time, stuck around for a month or two longer before joining Bubba in their move. They didn't really move far; they just walked down the road to my parents' house to join their Great Pyrenees to assist her in dragging up dead deer and rabbit carcasses from the woods. They come to visit sometimes, but they always go back to my parents and their great white beast of a dog.
I blame this on K. She's the one who didn't think a 65-lb. dog belonged in the house so we had to keep Bubba outside. If he'd been allowed to cuddle with us on the couch and sleep on the floor next to our bed, he would have happily stayed with us instead of fleeing our boring backyard to be with his mistress in the shaggy white coat.
Actually, that's the odd thing. Cheyenne (my parents' dog) is spayed and Bubba is neutered, so there's no sexual attraction involved. Both are entirely lacking reproductive organs. They just share a passion for partially rotted bodies. I guess that's all any relationship really needs.
9 comments:
That was quite possibly one of the greatest relationship analogies I've ever seen. Thanks for that man, I'm still laughing.
Awe, I'm sorry they've abandoned you. Dogs get bored easily, so romping around with dead carcasses is keeping them occupied. You know I'm a big fan of dogs in the house. Jewels isn't as good as Sadie with not wandering. We can take Sadie nearly anywhere without a leash and she just stays with us. It's like she can't imagine life away from us :)
You'll just have to hide some bigger and better deer carcasses in your own yard, won't you?
You're not really the ones who are unloved. You didn't love your dogs enough to let them inside. I would leave, too.
that guy: I thought it was funny, but I honestly didn't think anyone else would really agree. A lot of the jokes here are more for me than anyone else. Thanks for posting.
Meaghan: I blame you. I don't know how, but you radiated your meanness through my computer and scared them away.
Chris: That would probably be a good option if not for the fact I can never find dead deer and fear the fines involved in making my own. Also, please tell Meaghan I was just joking so she doesn't hate me forever. I'm ok if she just hates me until Thursday, though.
Julie: You're a guilt-tripper type, aren't you?
You accused Meaghan of driving away your dogs. She might very well hate you for a very long time.
Truth is, she is one of those dog whisperer types, so she might have communicated with them from afar.
Let's just put it this way: I love your dogs way more than you, and I've never met them...
Then again, I love most dogs more than most people, so don't take it too personally... you can take it a little personally, but not too much.
Corpses are where Courtney and I connect as well.
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