"If you're going to take Mickey away from me, you're going to have to assume my place in his life. The dude's got needs. And thanks for pointing out that my friendship is so expendable. It makes me feel all warm and squishy inside." This was typed by Courtney in response to a comment I made in my "Anyone Want to Sponsor My Circumambulation of the World?" post from a few days ago.
Now, I know for sure the Courtney was entirely serious*, so I didn't need to e-mail her to verify that I had actually had hurt her feelings. I knew that in her little room, my tiny little friend was no longer dancing her little jig, but huddled in a corner crying her little eyes out while Mickey callously kept soaking his feet in front of an oscillating fan while wearing nothing but his underwear to keep cool. In fact, I think my offending comment is the real reason that she took off for New Jersey instead of waiting patiently for K and I to get up there next week.
And if you don't read their blogs you probably think I just made all of that crap up. I didn't. Just part of it.
Here's the truth behind my comment. While it's true that I would be unable to fill the role that Courtney plays in Mickey's life (I can't dance and I outweigh the girl by over 100 lbs.), her friendship is something I'm willing to sacrifice if my walking around the world actually happens, but not because I don't care about her enough. It's because it won't matter in the end. As I pointed out quite clearly in the original post, I'd be dead within weeks, probably by Mickey's hands as his patience for me ran out, and I would have no contact with Courtney at all during any of this time. Thus, I wouldn't suffer from her grumpiness at me for stealing her man for a multi-year hike and when she found out that I had died from a mysterious fall into a ditch two feet deep in water, her feelings of loss at such a great friend as I would lead her to forget my callous disregard for her friendship and she would forgive me. Basically we'd no longer be friends in theory only and only temporarily since we'd never see each other again until after my death. Therefore, I have fully justified my willingness to give her up as a friend in exchange for attempting to fulfill my greatest goal in life. I'm sure you'll find this explanation entirely plausible and logical.
* Actually, I pretty much assumed Courtney was joking. I'm pretty sure that she knew that I didn't really take her friendship so lightly. Admitting this pretty much ruined the gag, though.
6 comments:
You never pretended you aren't an asshole.
This also means, though, that you can't be hurt they aren't waiting to go to NJ to time it with your trip. You don't call or email when you are within 10 miles of me. You have no right to complain.
Julie, I think part of it is that we go up your way about 10 times a year and so we always think there could be a next time. We've been to Knoxville once and passed through several times without letting them know on our way to Cleveland because we knew we wouldn't have time to stop that trip.
I've let you know I was in Marietta more that once. There was that time we went to the barbecue place and the time I went to the Thrashers game.
I'll be up there all week from the 21st to the 25th.
Besides you said babies scare Matt, so I assumed that meant we shouldn't bring him around too much.
I was a little more concerned about the Brokeback implications of her comment...
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
This is the first thing I read after waking up this morning. Lesson learned: Drink coffee before reading blogs, lest Jacob write an entire blog post about one comment.
You know, it's possible that Mickey and I are plotting your murder. You go ahead and go on your little hikey-hike around the world. See what happens. Just think of me on your lengthy fall off a cliff, OK?
I feel like a pawn.
Me too, Mickey. We're all just pawns in Jacob's bizarre game.
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