Friday, September 19, 2008

Vegetarians Beware

On my way to heat up my leftover spaghetti today, I got to thinking about how I'd like to get some sushi soon and that ended up with my brainstorming a list of the animals I've eaten. There was actually a logical progression of thoughts there that got me from sushi to guinea fowl, but I won't bother outlining it for you. Just know that if you're vegetarian or don't like being reminded that your meat was a living animal at one time, then you probably shouldn't continue. Anyway, here's my list of animals consumed (divided into separate species when possible):

Mammals

1. Cow
2. Bison
3. Pig
4. Sheep (the best is American grown because it has less muttony taste)
5. Goat
6. Whitetail deer
7. Elk
8. Caribou
9. Rabbit
10. Squirrel

Birds

11. Bobwhite quail
12. Cortunix quail
13. Mourning Dove
14. Chicken
15. Turkey
16. Duck
17. Goose
18. Guinea fowl
19. Ostrich
20. Ringneck Pheasant

Reptiles

21. Rattlesnake
22. American Alligator

Amphibians

23. American bullfrog

Fish

24. Salmon (King, Silver, Red and Pink, all Pacific, raw and cooked)
25. Catfish (almost always channel cats)
26. Bream
27. Sturgeon (really good, surprisingly)
28. Trout (probably rainbow)
29. Swordfish
30. Tuna (raw and cooked. Sorry about lumping the species together.)
31. Freshwater eel
32. Flounder
33. Halibut
34. Anchovies
35. Tilapia
36. Shark
37. Mahi Mahi
38. Monkfish
39. That fish that most of the processed frozen fish products come from
40. I'm not sure what fish the eggs on some sushi rolls comes from, but I've had that.

Crustaceans

37. Shrimp (of several species, the big Georgia wild-caught are the best, though. At least here.)
41. Blue crab (a waste of time mostly)
42. King crab (awesome, but pointy and hairy)
43. Snow/Opilio Crab (the classic crab leg)
44. Dungeness Crab (God's gift to man)
45. Crawfish
46. Maine Lobster

Mollusks

47. Snails
48. Scallops
49. Oysters
50. Clams
51. Mussels

Cephalopods

52. Squid
53. Octopus

Random Invertebrates

54. Sea Urchin (at least the roe)

I'm inexperienced with internal organs but I have had cow liver (I can't stomach it), cow tripe (not bad), soft tendon (kind of nice, actually), duck liver (awesome), chicken liver (not bad).

The weirdest animal products that Americans eat, though? Milk and eggs. You're basically sucking on a cow's tits when you consume dairy (or goat, sheep, or water buffalo for some fairly common cheeses) and you do realize that eggs come from the same hole that the bird shits from and could be considered similar to eating abortions, don't you?

5 comments:

Mickey said...

Blue crab a waste of time? Are you kidding? Somebody must've ruined it for you.

Pollock is what you get in fish sticks and Filet O' Fish sandwiches.

Moose- I got you there.

Jacob said...

Seriously, it's the least tasty of the crab species I've consumed and the the effort to reward scale just isn't worth it. I've had them plenty of times, but you'll spend 15 minutes picking through the shell to get enough meat to barely cover the palm of your hand (if you have a very small hand) while the dungies require the same amount to time to produce enough meat to make one crab a meal when it's only twice the size of a blue. Plus, the quality of the meat is leagues beyond a blue crab.

No one would pick a blue crab over the other harvested species. The only reason you see them so much is because they're common, inexpensive and the only crab big enough to eat that you can easily buy on much of the East Coast.

Still, crab is crab and there's no such thing as a bad crab, but on a crab-only rating scale, it's pretty low. Blue crab probably rates above crawfish and most shrimp in my book, but below Maine lobster and even further below the other crabs.

Jacob said...

My short answer is, yes, the dungeness, snow, and king crabs spoiled it for me.

Julie said...

That was a hilarious Dennis Leary stand up routine. About who was the first one to eat the thing coming out of the chickens butt.

You do have an impressive list. Your are more into the gamier meats than I am. However, I shall take this opportunity to remind you that I am cooler because I have eaten kangaroo.

Chris said...

I prefer to think of eggs as eating the chicken's period. They're unfertilized, so the abortion comparison doesn't make sense to me.

I have no exotic meat-eating tales to tell.

I suppose technically I've eaten human meat --- you know, when you bite those little dangly bits of skin off your cuticles or fingertips and swallow them, or bite at the inside of your cheeks. Yum.