There was a meeting of retired educators at my school today and as I walked down to the teacher restroom the meeting was let out. I entered the little boys' room followed by a small cadre of grayhairs. Honestly, it made me a little uncomfortable. I tend to get a little nervous when a group of people of similar appearance and dress follow me into an area out of public view. As I urinated, I was serenaded by the stuttering tinkle of ancient prostates and I fought off the image of myself being shanked with diabetes testing supplies. I knew if these guys jumped me the cops wouldn't even be able to find my killers through DNA evidence, partly because the people here don't really believe in DNA (science = Satan) and old people all share the same set of DNA. Plus, all old people look the same.
Luckily this set just wanted to spend a couple dozen minutes emptying their bladders before going to lunch, but you never can tell. There should probably be some sort of law keeping old people from moving in packs.