Sunday, March 01, 2009

Dear Lady I Saw Walking into a Store Today

I understand that it is snowing today and that is usually cause for panic in Georgia, but it really isn't that cold. The thermometer reads 36 right now, but it actually feels warmer. Why are you wearing giant insulated boots, insulated pants and a fur-lined, hooded down vest over a sweater? All you're doing is scurrying from your heated house to your heated car to the overly heated store. Besides, you're obese to the point that it affects your gait. You will not freeze in the five minutes it takes you to walk the 25 yards from your car to the store's entrance. Your natural insulation would make sure of that even if you were a little underdressed.

I could understand a water resistant jacket with a hood. This is that type of snow with fat, wet wads of ice crystals that slap against you face like frigid spitwads, but you look ridiculous hunched over in your fur and down alongside the rest of the crowd in light jackets and T-shirts.

Update: About four hours later, K and I were leaving the Atlanta area and it was finally feeling as cold as had been claiming it was all day. If the weather had felt as bad around 1 p.m. as it did at 5 p.m., I would not have mocked this woman.


Julie said...

Lemme guess... she walked out of the store with milk and bread?

Courtney said...

As someone who is freakishly cold all the time, I understand you, Lady Walking Into Store. Don't listen to Jacob; he's just abnormally warm-natured. Although, if you are really obese, you'd think all that blubber would keep you warmer.

That wet snow was a bitch to drive in. Glad you two made it home okay.

Jacob said...

You forget we were heading out in opposite directions, and I think you started off further north. The snow on our drive was starting to build up on the ground, but the roads were just wet, not icy or slushy. Driving home there was a bit of a visibility reduction, but the drive was about as difficult as a moderate rain.