Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Things You Do for Kids

My porch stinks.

Luckily, for me, that's not code for anything. My actual porch, or rather that postage stamp of enclosed space between my carport and my front door that was left over after converting most of my porch into a home office, actually stinks.

Pause.

I got a little sidetracked there trying to figure out what that would be code for. I'm guessing it would be something to do with the area covered by underwear. After all, most of our code deals with aspects of that area. It's true. Humans are just obsessed with butts and genitalia. I also thought about it being code for a stinky chin, but I'm not sure why that would need a code or why one's chin would get stinky.

The reason for the stinky porch is the dozen ducklings in a cage gorging and pooping in the corner. Many of you may think of ducks as more beautiful or more dignified than chickens, but you'd be wrong. Ducks may look nice and neat and not be associated with reeking chicken coups, but the truth is that they're much worse. They may bathe a lot more, but ducks eat more and drink a LOT more than chickens, and with that increase in intake comes the corresponding increase in output.

Yes, my porch smells like duck shit.

Of course this sounds like something that's entirely my fault, but for once, the livestock in my porch is not here because of me. My sister mail ordered a variety pack of ducks for my son's second birthday. She did ask permission before placing the order, so it's partly my fault, but I can't wait until it's consistently warm enough or they're feathered enough to just keep them outside.

And here's a photo of the brood. Isn't the yellow one with the afro a trip?

8 comments:

Julie said...

They're very cute. Just think cute and hold your breath.

Courtney said...

A variety pack of ducks! What an awesome/weird present.

A Free Man said...

What does duck shit smell like?

sid said...

How awesome isn't that? Ducks for a birthday present. How old is E right now?

Also stinky chin? Wow.

Theresa B said...

At least ducks tend to keep themselves clean (even if they make a mess of all water and your porch). Chickens not so much...

That yellow one looks like the Don King of ducklings.

Jacob said...

He's just over two years old.

Jacob said...

A Free Man: It smells a little like compost. Ripe compost.

Chris said...

As far as code for some delicate personal problem, I think "My porch smells like duck shit" is a better candidate. Still not entirely sure what it would mean, but it sounds serious.