I'm not ashamed to say that I threatened to hack my son to death with a machete today. I actually have a machete, more than one I think, but I made the comment entirely in jest and at a time when there was no chance he was in earshot, so I don't consider this abuse. Contrary to my sense of humor, I'm one of the least violent and least aggressive men I know. I couldn't even bring myself to hit my sister when we were kids and she didn't have the same restraint. Today's post title is as close as I can get to the exact quote of what I said to my wife when I realized her classroom was decorated with photos of E at an 11-5 ratio compared to images of me.
I'm not sure what I should be more embarrassed about. Is it worse that I casually joke about killing my only child, include a reference to a bloody civil war in a third world country in the joke, or that I was thinking about the Angolan flag when I cracked the joke?
Actually, I just checked with my wife. The only part that disturbed her was the fact that the image of the Angolan flag popped into my head right before I said this. It's not my fault that the flag was entirely relevant to the conversation.