Thursday, January 14, 2010

William T. Sherman's Saber Was Not Made of Light

Photo: Rennett Stowe, Flickr Creative Commons

After a few months, I usually end up with the archives in my posting area littered with posts I've written but never published. Some of these are because I gave up on a bad idea before I published. A few are usually because I started and didn't have time to finish. Others are just because I couldn't seem to get them right and before I could, the moment had passed. I was going through and clearing out these old inferior articles and I came across one of the ones that I think was originally a funny idea but I hit a wall before I finished it. I even left myself notes for later. I've fleshed it out a bit, but honestly, I don't feel it like I felt it then, so I imagine this may fall a little flat.

My friend Hank and I were discussing one of yesterday's links and we got into the tangent of which Civil War figures would be which characters from the Star Wars movies.

Jefferson Davis would be Jar-Jar Binks. I know it sounds weird, but I passionately hate Jefferson Davis despite having a soft spot for many of the other Confederate superstars of history. I'm not going to get into the details because this is not a history blog, but let's just say that Jefferson was a douche while many of his colleagues can easily be argued to be tragic heroes.

I guess we have to go with Robert E. Lee as Luke Skywalker, although they have opposite postscripts. Skywalker eventually turns to the Dark Side while Lee actually worked to heal the divisions in his country after the war. Actually, to some of the South-will-rise-again types, maybe that makes them the same. Other than that, they're both the exciting protagonists of the movies about their wars.

I'm going to say that Stonewall Jackson was Chewbacca, only because I think it would be hilarious, if one were to, say, remake the movie Gods and Generals, that Chewbacca would be cast as one of the more interesting Civil War commanders.

Sherman had to be Darth Vader. Sure, he was on the good side and all, but the guy would have been a war criminal had he not been an American and had fought in the 20th Century. Besides, I think, beyond the most famous issue, simplifying that war to good guys versus bad guys is even stupider that it normally is in the real world.

But someone really should get on that Star Wars Does the Civil War film. That'd be worth seeing.


Julie said...

Somewhere, a civil war reenactor is crying and a geek is crossing his arms in disdain.

Courtney said...

I like Civil War history, but Gods and Generals was an unbearably boring movie. Imagine how I felt when I saw it in the theater and there was an INTERMISSION.

As for the Star Wars tie, well, the best I can say is that you're really reaching.

Jacob said...

See, the movie was horrible (I haven't seen it), wouldn't a wookie have made it more bearable?

Hank Gay said...

Wookies make everything better… except the Star Wars Christmas Special.

A Free Man said...

See, I can't go with Sherman on the 'good' side, because despite the slavery thing and all the anti-PC overtones I still think of the South as the good side, well for what I consider obvious reasons. So Sherman as Vader, OK. What about Grant? And J.E.B. Stuart? See, I think Stuart makes a better Jar Jar. Hmmm. I like this game. Longstreet?