I'll Punch Your Mom in the Face, Too

Photo: LukeOlsen, Flickr Creative Commons

I apologize for the complete irrelevance of today's photo. This photo was originally chosen for an Oscar's post I was writing until I realized that I'd not watched the Oscars and had only watched like two movies in the past year. Instead, you get the following.

Student: Mr. J, I need to make up a quiz.

Me: From Friday?

Student: No, from like three weeks ago.

Me: Have you been absent for two weeks?

Student: No, but I was absent for most of that week.

Me: Yeah, but even with that, your time to make up that work expired sometime more than a week ago. You get three days to make up missed work from absences.

Student: Yeah, but...

Me: And you're just now asking about it? Don't make me punch you in the face. I will fucking punch you in the face.

Actually, those last two sentences are a bit of literary embellishment, but that's kind of what I was thinking. If the student hasn't figured out at this point in the semester that I'm a total dick about make up work, then she's pretty much a failure at life. Seriously, if you're absent in my class, you have to make up exactly the work that everyone else did and you have to get it turned it by the end of the day on the third day that you're back in school (just like it's stated in the student handbook for the school and my class syllabus.) I don't remind you to ask for your work and I don't remind you to turn it in. I make that quite clear multiple times each semester. I'll stay late and give you the same assistance that everyone else got if you show the initiative, but don't expect me to be your mama. I don't love you like that. Some of you I don't even like very much.

It also makes for fewer papers for me to grade. I hate grading papers.