Saturday, March 01, 2008

The Ads Always Warn You to See a Doctor

I may end up regretting taking yesterday off. Sure, I was told to, but since when do I do what I was told? (Pretty much since I was old enough to understand the language, actually, but that's beside the point.) Today I feel out of sync and intellectually flaccid. I also feel genitally flaccid, but that's perfectly normal. There's nothing about my environment at the moment that would make an alternative status appropriate. Still, I really should get a misprint of one of those "I'm with Flaccid" T-shirts so that the arrow points up instead of down. I really feel that way.

But I digress.

I really think I may have lost my rhythm. For the next few days reading my posts may be a little like watching a rhythm quarterback on a bad night or a tennis player who's normally quite talented, but just can't get anything to go in during the match. It's true that with my odd blend of topics, my mishmash of subtle jokes with dry delivery and over-the-top shock jock gags with a decidedly absurdist bent and obscure references that many of you may not even notice a drop off in my writing. Mickey, with is old-school English teacher eye, probably noticed it within the first couple of sentences of this post.

Before taking a day off, ideas gushed forth from my cerebral cortex in a torrent of fully formed sentences and paragraphs. Now I'm really having to drag this from my mind kicking and screaming like a spoiled child attempting vainly to refuse attendance at day care. Sure, the kid ends up at school, maybe even on time, but they show up looking like crap from their to avoid the trip and definitely pissed off by their impotency.

So, if you notice a drop off, I apologize. I'm sure I'll get back into the feel of things soon. To those of you who don't notice any difference, either please read more closely (for those regulars) or just keep reading (for the newbs). I think I'm kind of like fine wine and craft beer. At first sip I may taste just like any other, but with experience whole new levels of aroma and flavor open up to the palate. I managed to train my college friends during my three years of hanging out with them on a regular basis to appreciate and even enjoy my sense of humor. It didn't happen overnight though. It took a lot of sleep deprivation on long nights at the college newspaper and other forms of intellectual torture before they finally broke and reformed their own world views to accept my ramblings and one liners as funny and not just strange. However, if you think that the next handful of posts are inherently superior to anything I've written in the past, I hate you.


Chris said...

Good to know.

I'm sure you'll return to your usual level of stimulation soon.

sid said...

Jacob ... I think you might have a problem. Think you might need to check into Betty Ford Clinic. I mean 1st you have a list of all the beers you enjoy on the sidebar and now you're comparing yourself to wine.

Mickey said...

Nothing like writing about writing. Or writing about writing poorly. Whatever it takes, I suppose.