In reality, he's Kyp Malone, a member of the critically acclaimed band, TV on the Radio, but damn if that isn't a ridiculously luxurious beard. I'd be willing to take a nap in it. Anyway, I've got his band's latest album on my MP3 player and I digs it. I really do. I have to in order to keep my music hipster cred, but I saw them on Saturday Night Live last week and holy brother of god did they suck. I haven't seen a band tank that badly live since I saw the Smashing Pumpkins play a live spot on TV back in high school.
Perhaps to make up for their shitty SNL performance on Saturday, the band played on the Colbert Report last night and did a much better job. Plus, the woman who plays the baritone sax was wearing a short dress and long boots, perhaps the sexiest combination a woman can wear outside of total nudity. (Or perhaps nothing but a bow tie and vintage gym shoes.) And (because I like starting sentences with and) she plays the bari sax. I played the bari sax and I was freaking good at it. In fact, if I'd ever practiced the damn thing I could have really gone somewhere with it. Perhaps it could have been me playing the Colbert Report while wearing a short skirt and long boots. I've got the legs for it, anyway. Sometimes I get pissed off at myself for being such a damn underachiever, but that's why I drink. It makes me forget the pain and think about greasy food stuffs instead.
But getting back to bari sax lady. You play bari sax while wearing a hot outfit. I could probably still play bari sax if I could afford to buy one and would look good in the same outfit. We should have sex. Seriously, if you're out there reading this while on tour with the band, look me up and give me a call. We should bump uglies sometime.
This really turned into a bigger post than I had intended. That beard is fucking inspirational.