Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I Would Be the NPR Outcast

Woot posted a link to their blog yesterday about how to find your NPR name, much like the routine for finding your porn name. My porn name, by the way, would just be Bowser. That was the name of my first dog, and the road I lived on didn't have a name until just about the time I left for college. If I were to use the closest road with a name, it would be Bowser 341. Maybe I'd be a star in the robot porn world. Even if I went with the second pet, the one I actually remember, my name would suck. Pam Collie doesn't even sound like they'd be in the right end of the transaction.

Anyway, back to the NPR name. It would still suck for me. My middle initial is "P" and my first name is, of course, Jacob. That leaves me with either Japcob or Jacpob for the first name. I get a little better with the surname. Both of the smallest foreign towns I remember visiting have Polynesian names. I have been in the international airport on Tonga near the capital Nuku Ľalofa, but I don't know if sitting in the two-room airport terminal while the jet refuels really counts as having visited. Besides, Tongatapu (the island on which Nuku'alofa is found) makes a better surname. Instead, I probably have to settle for Rotorua, a town in New Zealand. I actually did visit this town and spent the night there.

Still, Japcob Rotorua just sounds like gibberish. Does this work for anyone besides the two people mentioned in the original blog post?


courtney said...

Courlney Chetumal?

That's stupid. I reject this system.

Theresa B said...

Wow, your porn name really is bad. You are a shining example of overcoming adversity in your life.

The NPR thing... it works okay with my first name, since I can easily imagine a "Thermesa" reading the breaking the news of new fighting in Chad. However, I can't remember the names of any small foreign towns I've visited and I'm too lazy to go find my old maps. So I think this fails just because it requires too much effort.

Julie said...

I think I would go with JeUlie because adding an 'e' onto the end wouldn't do much and if you say it Je-Ulie it sounds kinda ethnic.

I've been to lots of small towns, too, but I think I would pick Denali since I spent the night at the hotel inside the park and no one lives there year round. That's pretty small.

JeUlie Denali might have a future at NPR. What do you think?

A Free Man said...

Yeah, it's pretty shit. Mine would kind of be phonetically impossible.

Mickey said...

I don't really listen to enough NPR to understand this. All the folks I ever hear on it are named Ira, Josh and Chuck.