Monday, April 13, 2009

If I Die before I Wake...

You can have whatever survived under the rubble of my house.

Truthfully, my house, as far as I know, is still upright and in good condition (with the exception of that one window that is a pain in the ass to get locked right now). It's just that a tornado was spotted about 15 miles from my house, and as I'm holed up in my interior classroom the only thing I can really think about is how K and I have never gotten around to getting the insurance on our house put in our names.

With the luck I have, this means that my house will be the only one hit in my half of the county and I will be homeless and have no money to do anything about it. I would have to keep making payments on the rubble for another 13 years, though. Pleasant thought.

There is an insurance policy on the house. The only problem is that it's in my grandmother's name and the policy would have sent money to my parents and aunts should anything have happened to the house when they owned it. That would be all fine and dandy as they would gladly fork over the windfall since it was our house that died, except I'm sure the insurance company would see the change in ownership as reason to pay out nothing to either the past or present owners. Insurance companies are the dicks of the business world and in this case I'd say they'd even have a point.

So, if you see any photos of me in the paper weeping over the chaos of bricks that was once my home, wiping my tears with the lifeless remains of a chicken, remember that I'll gladly take donations to the Dumbass Who Couldn't Be Bothered to Get House Insurance Foundation.

Update: The truth turned out to be even worse. The kids were sent back from lunch to wait out the tornado warning with 30 minutes left in third block. Fourth block is my planning period and the last one of the day. Ten minutes after they announced the warning had been lifted and they would change allow classes to change to fourth block, another warning was put in place and I ended up having to sit with my third block class for a total of three hours today.

6 comments:

Jacob said...

Yeah. Like I said, as far as I know, my house is still fine, meaning that I have no reason to be anything less than tongue-in-cheek at the moment.

courtney said...

It wouldn't be funny if it really happened, but I laughed out loud at the image of you wiping away tears with a dead chicken. And now people are looking at me funny.

A Free Man said...

That reminds me to call the insurance company. Not that we have many tornadoes, but I'm a firm believer - like you - that the only house that gets hit in a natural disaster is the one without insurance.

Theresa B said...

I figure I'm safe since there is a mobile home park about a mile away that will draw any nearby tornados in. My house is more likely to collapse due to my "home improvement" projects...

Glad to hear your house is (probably) still standing. I think I'd take my chances with the tornado over the kids any day.

Chris said...

Since when do banks/ mortgage companies give out loans for houses that are not properly insured? I thought that was a top-priority requirement before you could ever close on the loan.

At any rate, I hope your house isn't dead now.

Jacob said...

Chris: Local bank and a mortgage so small they kept it in-house. I think if we'd gone with the 30-year instead of the 15-year, our payments would have been about $400 a month. And that was even after tacking on $30,000 to the loan for home improvements.