You can have whatever survived under the rubble of my house.
Truthfully, my house, as far as I know, is still upright and in good condition (with the exception of that one window that is a pain in the ass to get locked right now). It's just that a tornado was spotted about 15 miles from my house, and as I'm holed up in my interior classroom the only thing I can really think about is how K and I have never gotten around to getting the insurance on our house put in our names.
With the luck I have, this means that my house will be the only one hit in my half of the county and I will be homeless and have no money to do anything about it. I would have to keep making payments on the rubble for another 13 years, though. Pleasant thought.
There is an insurance policy on the house. The only problem is that it's in my grandmother's name and the policy would have sent money to my parents and aunts should anything have happened to the house when they owned it. That would be all fine and dandy as they would gladly fork over the windfall since it was our house that died, except I'm sure the insurance company would see the change in ownership as reason to pay out nothing to either the past or present owners. Insurance companies are the dicks of the business world and in this case I'd say they'd even have a point.
So, if you see any photos of me in the paper weeping over the chaos of bricks that was once my home, wiping my tears with the lifeless remains of a chicken, remember that I'll gladly take donations to the Dumbass Who Couldn't Be Bothered to Get House Insurance Foundation.
Update: The truth turned out to be even worse. The kids were sent back from lunch to wait out the tornado warning with 30 minutes left in third block. Fourth block is my planning period and the last one of the day. Ten minutes after they announced the warning had been lifted and they would change allow classes to change to fourth block, another warning was put in place and I ended up having to sit with my third block class for a total of three hours today.