Thursday, September 17, 2009

I'm #2 and the Proof Isn't Even Mine

A couple of weekends ago I won my first ever trophy. I gotten medals and trophies as part of groups I performed with or played in and I may have gotten a Most Improved award in tennis in high school, but I never won any real awards for individual performance. Last month was the first time for me. I was playing in a clay-court tennis tournament at the beach and that Saturday I honestly played the best tennis I have ever played in my life. My serve was blistering and I was ripping forehands into the corners and down the line with both power and accuracy. I'd never been so happy with my play in my life.

I'm not a real competitive guy. I get worked up and mumble curses to myself when I screw up on the court as much as the next guy, but if I play well and lose, I'm perfectly happy. I'm perfectly content to be a loser as long as I'm only losing to people who are better than me and I'm not beating myself.

Of course my serve fell apart the next morning for the tournament final and I lost, but I still qualified for an invitational tournament next month and got my first ever individual trophy as runner-up in my division. E was fascinated by the gold-colored plastic and I handed it to him to carry out to the car for the ride back to the hotel. By the time he was strapped into the car seat, he'd claimed the trophy as his own and he still hasn't forgotten that fact weeks later. He'll occasionally demand it be taken down from the shelf in my office and then march around the house with it in his hands before his attention is claimed by something else. So, I'm back to having no trophies of my own, but I'm still okay with that.

Speaking of E, it's kind of weird to me how much I want him to watch me play. I know he's only two and won't remember a lick of it, and that to expect a two-year-old to be able to sit through a one-to-two hour match is ridiculously stupid, but when I hit a perfect ace in the finals of that last tournament, I looked to see if K and E had seen it only to see that they had wandered off to other parts of the complex. I felt a little deflated by that even though I understood entirely. I know this is silly. I know that as E's dad that I will be his hero regardless of how lame I am until he hits puberty, at which point he will barely put up with me until he leaves home and distance and maturity returns the affection and bring a new understanding and respect. At least that's what happened with me and my dad.

I guess I may be just a little needier than I thought.

8 comments:

courtney said...

Boo to K and E for missing your serve. But congrats on the trophy! Trophies are awesome.

Julie said...

Hooray for you! Maybe you could push E a little by forcing him to sit still through all your matches and then it will spark in him a love for your chosen sport?

Sid said...

LOL! That must be the cutest thing I've ever heard you say. Congrats on the trophy.

A Free Man said...

The thing with your boy - he's a bit young yet to sit still for any length of time. He'll get there though. Give him a couple three years and I guarantee you he'll be your biggest fan.

Jacob said...

Julie: Forcing him to sit through it would probably make him hate the sport more than love it. He whined a little every time we got into the car for a couple of weeks after our road trip out to Wyoming.

Sid: I try to keep my softer side off of this blog. It's neither funny nor fitting of the persona I've built here.

A Free Man: Yeah, that's kind of what that paragraph was about. I actively want him to be there watching me, but I know and understand that expecting him to pay attention is way too much for a kid of his age.

Honestly, when he looked at me in the car on the way back and said, "Beautiful trophy. It's beautiful, daddy" kind of made up for them missing most of my match, especially when I wasn't really upset to start with.

Julie said...

D'oh. Guess I'm still not ready to be a parent.

Jacob said...

I just thought you were joking, but it's probably best that you aren't ready because your husband would very likely murder the newborn and honestly believe he did it in self defense.

BatSpit said...

nice post. too many parents use their offspring as a chance to do all they didn't- glad you're the one playing, and leaving the kid to decide his own path (even when that path misses your best serve...