Freedom for the First Time

K and I are heading out to Brunswick to visit some friends there tomorrow. My mom is going to pick up E to take him to church. Since I no longer attend, she wants him to be exposed and takes him every once in a while. Luckily, her religious beliefs don't include E needing to be "saved", so it's not because she's trying to keep him from leading a life that ends with him burning in the eternal bonfires of Hell. That makes me feel a little better about the whole thing. That belief also keeps her from nagging me about not going to church anymore. She'll ask if I want to go with her on occasion, but it never goes beyond that. I'm really glad it doesn't. I'd prefer to not get pushed into a corner and have to explain exactly why I now refuse to go.

The freedom part of my title comes from what happens after my mom picks up E for church. K and I will pack our overnight bag and head out of town without E for the first time since I originally knocked my poor wife up. I'm looking forward to it. K's feeling a bit guilty.

I was a bit worried about asking my mom for overnight babysitting duties. After all, the boy's still getting up at least once (and more often twice) a night to eat. I made sure to remind her of this and she still seemed pretty enthusiastic at the prospect of keeping him overnight.

I'm more or less over the soul-wrenching despair at becoming a father and knowing that my life is hobbled for at least the next 18 years. I'm still aware that my life is seriously constricted, but I'm starting to get over myself a little. Still, I'm really looking forward to going out drinking with friends without having to worry about E during the process. K doesn't see this as quite the opportunity that I do, though. I guess her maternal instincts are a bit stronger than my paternal instincts.

And like I said, I don't entirely resent the poor kid. In fact, I spent the whole day (at least the part after I got up around noon) taking care of the kid and giving K a break. We drove back in from Augusta last night and got home around 2 a.m. When I fall asleep after a day like that, I tend to be in something more akin to a coma than a slumber. K couldn't get me up to take my normal nighttime feeding shift and ended up dealing with both shifts and keeping him occupied when he got up for good around 7. I'd say the fact that I've done all the feeding, changing, and entertaining since noon is more guilt than anything else. We did have fun watching football together, though.