Sunday, September 14, 2008

I'm a Genius!

I already knew that I was a comedic genius (and I'm sure that my self-confidence in this area is obvious to those of you who are regular readers or "friends"), but my sense of humor was just too advanced for the sketch comedy show on the college TV station at my alma mater. I submitted two incredibly hilarious sketches that were a bit of a potpourri of inspiration from Jack Handey and Kids in the Hall (mostly Mark McKinney, Scott Thompson, and Kevin McDonald), but I never got the slightest bit of feedback or phone messages desperate for me to come to staff meetings to get more of my good stuff.

I was crushed for about thirty seconds until I realized that the show really sucked and they probably didn't want my skits to show the rest of the bits up. Maybe they just didn't have the actors able to portray the emotional and comedic depth necessary to pull of my complexly brilliant comedy.

Despite my continued self-confidence, I quit my comedy career before it was begun. I knew that I'd never be able to dumb down my comedy to make in the bottom of the ranks and I knew that I'd have to start at the bottom to make it to the top to allow myself to shine. After all, I knew I was going places. I was going to be a copy editor for a small-town daily newspaper and English teacher one day. I didn't have the time to waste on this comedy crap. Nobody ever makes any cash in that gig, anyway.

But still, that brilliance of mine lingered under the surface as I stared at computer screens and apathetic teens. The latest proof that I'm still a freaking comedic genius (thanks to Justins for posting this on his blog):

That's right. That's Tina Fey playing Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live even though she's no longer a regular cast member. If you're wondering what the heck that has to do with my genius, I only called it twelve days ago.

If my ideas keep getting stolen and used by major media sources I'm going to have to hire a lawyer. This is only the third or fourth idea that ended up getting used elsewhere in the past two months. Damn, I'm good.


Mickey said...

Sorry, dude, but everybody called that one.

Tina Fey really nailed Palin's unusual Alaskan patois, though, didn't she?

Jacob said...

Yeah, that was kind of the point. If I really had been special in calling it the joke of this post would have been missing. It would have just been me bragging in an outlandish way instead of me bragging in an outlandish way about something insignificant. I am the only one of you who posted that in their blog, though, so I'm still special.

And the odd thing is that I don't see Palin's speaking style as all that Alaskan. I've been there twice, talked to an editor there on a regular basis back in college trying to set up an internship and listened to a bunch of their politicians. I've never once heard anyone there sound like that. It really strikes me as more of a Minnesota accent, don't cha know. Alaska really is a lot like Atlanta where the local population has been too watered down by an influx of outsiders moving in (although in this case because of an extremely small population to start with.) Plus, with the exception of the native Alaskans, they've only been there speaking English for about 4 or five generations, hardly enough time to go from a mix of regional dialects from the lower 48 to a very unique one like Palin's.

I do know she was born in Idaho, but wasn't really speaking by the time her family moved to Alaska, but perhaps her family had a bit of a Western Great Lakes accent and that's where she picked it up from.

Courtney said...

It kills me when Tina starts posing like she has a gun. That's funny shit, man.

Julie said...

I submitted a treatment to the tv station but I got rejected. I wanted to do a dinner and a movie show where my friends and I critiqued a movie MST3K style. I, too, am a genius. They rejected mine because of the movie rights problem. Otherwise, they would have totally used my idea. Because it is awesome.