Monday, May 03, 2010

Jokes About Mutilation

Photo: redeye^, Flickr Creative Commons

I watched the Kentucky Derby this weekend. For some reason during the past few years I watch all of the major horse races. I'm not a gambler. I'm not sure whether I suck at gambling or that I'm just not comfortable enough with risk. I'm just the kind of guy who thinks that if I'm going to come home with lighter pockets, I better have gotten my money's worth of food out of it. I'm also okay with blowing money on beer and entertaining myself, but I put the chance of winning money up there with clothes on the list of things that make me feel like I'm just wasting money. Since I'm not culturally and legally required to gamble like I am to wear clothes, I don't even begrudgingly gamble. I do sometimes by a pair of pants or a shirt, but it makes me angry for a week when I do.

Speaking of strange emotions, as my wife and I were lying in bed last night, I turned to her and said, "I want to cut off your face and wear it like a hat." I thought it was a rather funny thing to say and had a minor giggling fit because of it. Maybe because of that more primitive part of our brains that makes everything scarier in the dark, my wife didn't think it so funny. She just lay there quietly for a few seconds before finally responding softly, "That actually creeped me out a little bit."

If I were the type to easily take things personally, I think that would have offended me greatly. After all, my wife and I have been seriously involved with each other for almost 12 years now. My sense of humor hasn't changed much during that time and I doubt I've ever given her even the slightest reason to worry that I had violent tendencies. I mean, seriously, I won't even kill spiders for the girl. I have to capture them and free them outside where they can eat and be eaten in peace.

Luckily for me, I don't take things very personally, so her response just made it all that funnier and I started imagining what it would be like to walk up to a random person and say the same thing. It's a wonder I ever fell asleep last night.


Julie said...

Your wife's ability to shrug off the things you say is unreal. I can't believe it took her this long to be disturbed by something you said.

Courtney said...

Well, at least you amused yourself.

Mickey said...

Yeah, that's a little creepy, but I do find myself giggling as I type this.